WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?!  You disgustingly creepy bogans will NEVER get a girlfriend when you sound like that.  You say you’re married; a pretend marriage to the pyro DOES NOT COUNT as having a wife.

You can request I get back in the kitchen, demand I make you a sandwich, call me Justin Beiber and question why my balls haven’t dropped all you like – I will still kick your ass, and I’ll look over 9000 times (sorry, had to) better doing it.

No matter what server I went on tonight it was filled with drunken perverts, and no, I’m not going to turn my microphone off and be supressed like they want me to.  I’m better than that and I refuse to tolerate male dominance.  I quite simply take it in my stride and hand it back to them when I’m sitting on top of the score board, laughing.

I was in the top 3 on every server, and they simply couldn’t deal with being beat by a girl.

My conversation with one friend was as follows:

Me:  “Ha, I’m beating you.”
Friend:  “Yeah, you were camping on the cart.”
Me:  “Your score is so bad I can’t even SEE you on the scoreboard.”
Friend:  “THAT’S BECAUSE I WAS PLAYING ENGIE!”
Me:  “Excuses; you can’t take being beat by a girl!”

He was silent after that.  Surprise, surprise – he’s from the clan of notorious trolls that I recently left after getting sick of morons.  I won’t mention who they are because there are people in there I like, but I’m sure you can guess.  This ‘friend’ is the sort of gamer who’s hard to beat, doesn’t like to lose and reacts immaturely to both.  He knows who he is.

GROW UP!

I don’t hate all guys either – just most of you.

I’m not being biased towards one sex, girls suck in game too.  In Team Fortress 2 the majority of them are the kind of girls with high-pitched, nasally voices, IQ’s no bigger than their shoe size who play nothing but medic for hours on end without improvement because they have no lives and they’re only playing for the attention of lonely little boys on the other end of the internet.

Sexism has been weaved into our society so intimately that it’s camouflaged and accepted unconditionally by men and women alike.  For the past few months I have been stomping on it so hardcore, whether it be my family or friends.  I shall continue to do so.

/RANT.

To my close male and female friends:  I love you.  Don’t change.  You know who you are.

<3 DarkSlinky (unless you SUCK).

Of course, this didn’t happen.  Half an hour ago my mother burst into my room, yelling and screaming about how I had to get up “RIGHT NOW.”  I thought there was an emergency or someone had died or something tragic.  This is how the conversation went.

Jayne:  “What’s happened??”
Mum:  “Your brother and the phone company are on the phone and want to speak to you NOW.”
Jayne:  “Wait, what? What’s the time?”
Mum:  “LATE! 8:30!”
Jayne:  “How is that late?”
Mum:  “They thought you would be up at 6am looking for a job!” <Still yelling>

I think to myself, “What the hell? What do you mean THEY thought I would be up at 6am looking for a job?  Nowhere is even open until 9am or 10am,” but of course I didn’t say it for fear she’d fly into a rage.  The conversation continued.

Jayne:  “Okay, I’m getting up.”
Mum:  “Right NOW!”
Jayne:  “Yes, right now.” <As I’m getting up>
Mum:  “Hurry! Get up NOW!”

I’m just thinking, “Go awaaay.”

She continued to yell at me as I got out of bed and went up the stairs.  I didn’t have time to stretch and my muscles were still killing me from dancing the other night, so I was half limping, half asleep and very grumpy.

I got on the phone and tried my best to sound lively.  My brother and the lady on the other end greet me cheerfully and apologise for waking me up.  I tell them it’s okay.  I’m just glad to hear the voices of people who don’t want to rip my head off.

In the background mum continues to yell; something about young people mooching off their parents and how terrible it is.  I wasn’t listening.

Right now she’s either upstairs stomping around or outside my room banging things to keep me awake.  Seriously, you’d think she was a 5 year old sibling.

I feel the desperate urge to escape and cry my heart out, but I’m just so tired.  Thank goodness I made plans to go away this weekend or I’d go insane.  When she demands I do things, it doesn’t matter how I’m feeling or what I’m doing, I’m expected to drop everything and serve her, and you know what?  I do.  A lot of people tell me to stand up for myself, etc. but it just doesn’t work that way.  She’s the mother and I’ve been raised to think that the parents are always right, even when they’re wrong.

My Dad is more humble.  He’s not too proud to admit when he’s wrong, and neither am I.

Moral of the story is:  Respect your children and they will respect you.  I give in to my mother’s demands, but I hate it.  When I have children, if I ask them to do something, I want them to do it because they want to and not because they feel forced to (when they are adults, I mean).  Don’t take your anger out on them just because they’re there.

Now it’s nearly 10am and I’m hungry and very sleepy.

I’m going to think about whether I should eat breakfast or go back to bed for a while.

<3 DarkSlinky.

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They are the mirelurks that find happiness depressing and avoid it as though their life depends on it, because happy people don’t receive sympathy every day.  Of course their life doesn’t really depend on it, I mean, if they actually died, they would receive attention from everyone but wouldn’t be there to enjoy it!  Although, enjoying things makes them depressed, but being depressed makes them happy… but happiness depresses them too… Oh dear.  I think we have a problem.

You very rarely see emos at universities.  They mostly work at Hungry Jacks (known as Burger King in some places), travel in flocks of bitterness and whinge, whinge, whinge, whinge, whinge.  If they don’t have something to whinge about, then they’ll whinge about that.

If you ever come across an emo RUN for the sake of your sanity.  Their presence has the same effect as dementors from Harry Potter.

I have here a fresh example of the sort of things emos have to say.

The background story to this is that every time I send Mr. X a message on Facebook, his girlfriend, Ms. Emo has to fire a rude remark at me, most often shooting herself in the foot.  Mr. X does not like this sort of conflict and deleted most of the conversations we had.  This one I managed to salvage ver batim.

Mr. X: Can’t everyone just get along?????
Ms. Emo: not when its with someone who thinks she’s better then everyone. But isn’t
Ms. Stranger: Getting along is boring Mr. X! and stop deleting stuff off your wall, i’m not a facebook fiend like you so I miss all the good bits
Ms. Slinky: Hahahahaha.  Couldn’t agree with you more Ms. Stranger.. all my witty comments have gone to waste.
Ms. Stranger: I know right! I was so keen to read them. I’m sure there’ll be a next time lol
Ms. Emo: witty comments? Your dumb as dog s***.
Ms. Stranger: well that’s witty…..lol
Ms. Emo: i don’t need to be witty. I’m not someone who thinks i’m the best around. When i’m obvs not.
Ms. Stranger: Well thats good at least you can accept your faults
Ms. Slinky: Hmm. I really want to comment saying, “Funny that. I happen to be studying psychology at university. Last time I checked, dumb people can’t get into university,” but all of my defences are to be left up to our dear Mr. X.   I tell you what, if you have any proof of my lack of intelligence, I will be more than happy to accept it, and I will even go so far as to offer you my sincerest apology Ms. Emo.
Mr. X: all of you play nice!
Ms. Slinky: I am playing nice.  I’m offering dear Ms. Emo the chance to actually prove all of the remarks she has made about me. Not once have I made offensive remarks about her.  So who, then, has acted with valour?

Emos – who needs them?

<3 DarkSlinky.

The worst kind of hypocrite is the manipulative, stalker hypocrite.

Even if you believe what you’re doing is right, they can’t accept that. They can’t see your point of view, or simply refuse to see it.  They have the ability to get into your subconscious and hound you and hound you until you either snap and go crazy or give in to their demands, but you won’t see it coming! No.  These con artists always turn out to be someone you love, someone you trust, someone you would least expect; so beware!

They follow you.  They turn up at your house, all smiling and friendly like, acting as though they’re there for a chat, and then they subtly wrap their web of deceit around your brain until you begin to suffocate – which is when they STRIKE and drill you until all your thoughts are a mangled mess of “I don’t remember who I ammm!”

They don’t stop at you, though. Oh no.  They’ll get your loved ones as well.  Your friends, your family, even your enemies will fall victim to their trap, just as you have.  You’ll find your loved ones criticizing you, but not knowing why, as though they are puppets who don’t realise they have a master.  Hypocrites bury themselves into your life like a tick into your butt.

The worst part of it is, is they then go and do the very thing you were doing, but you’re still not allowed to do it, because they think they’re better than you.  They can justify it, they can see their own point of view, and they believe it’s the right one.  So you are left as a husk, while they live off the very thing they took from you.

Can’t people just be reasonable, or at least mind their own business??

I need to make myself a shishkebab from Fallout 3 or something.  Oh how happy that would make me.  No one would dare criticize my decisions then! >=D

<3 DarkSlinky.

I woke up feeling motivated despite having nightmares about Liam’s mother coming over without notice like she used to.

I hate being nagged, I want my own space.

Every morning Dad comes in and says the exact same thing:

“Haven’t found our camera yet?
We’ll have to have a big clean up in here; pull everything out and go through everything.
Your mother wants to buy a new camera if we can’t find the old one!
I’m not buying a new camera until I’ve gone through everything in here.
Have you pulled out that cupboard yet?”

Then he’ll look around for a while and then go into my fridge.

“This looks yummy. I’ll have some of that.
What’s this? It doesn’t look any good any more. I’ll throw it out.
This too.
And these…
Do you have any milk?”

Then he’ll turn the fridge down really, really cold so his beer just freezes.

When Liam was here, I had my own space. Now it’s their space again, and I can’t say anything because they will just say “We do a lot for you.”

I know my Dad works hard, I know my parents provide for me, I know they do a lot for me, and I appreciate it, but does that give them the right to come in here whenever they want and go through everything, take what they want, throw out what they think I don’t need?

I’m not motivated anymore, anyway…

<3 DarkSlinky.

I fill out the form, just like I did yesterday.

I click the button.

This message pops up:

Your online application for leave of absence has been forwarded to QUT for assessment. A confirmation email has also been sent to the ‘Reply email address’ you provided.

Thank you.

RRAAARRRR!

How am I meant to receive the confirmation e-mail if my e-mail is going to be “Queued” (yeah, remember that word?) for a possible 3 weeks??

Whatever. At least it went through this time.

<3 DarkSlinky.

QUT: A university for the real world.  Yeah, you know why? It’s because the real world sucks, and they’re preparing you to deal with how CRAPPY it is.

So I want to defer for 6 months so I can work out what to do next, because they messed up the subjects I wanted to do (another story for another day). I look it up on their impossible to navigate website, and there it says you can defer for up to 12 months total within your course, and longer with special consideration.  Okay, that’s fine.  So how do I apply?

I eventually find a list of forms, and buried in amongst those under the heading ‘Enrolment’, I find the ‘Application for Leave of Absence (domestic students) – L Form online.’ I click it.  Yes!  It’s what I’m looking for.  Wait, it says here I need to have proof from a doctor that I have a reason to defer my course, either sickness or a sick relative.  Could’ve told me earlier!  Whatever, I can deal with that.

I fill it out.

“You forgot your e-mail address.”

Oh, woops.  I put it in.

“You forgot all these random details that isn’t your e-mail address.”

I look again. There’s nowhere to fill out these details. You’ve got to be kidding me.

I refresh and repeat.

“WHERE ARE THE RANDOM DETAILS?!”

Fair enough. I shouldn’t have expected this to be easy.  Their aim is, after all, to make every step of everything as difficult as possible.   I look for who I can contact if I’m having technical issues.  There’s an e-mail address.  Fantastic, they can deal with it.

I go to log in to my university e-mail account.

“Hi!  We’ve decided to change our e-mail thing, which means you have to make a new e-mail address!  It’s okay though, because it has all this extra stuff.  By the way, you don’t get a choice.”

Fine. Be like that. I’ll make another e-mail account then.

I try to log in.

“Queued.”

Yep, one word.

“Queued.”

I ask my friend what the hell is going on with this stupid thing!  He tells me he’s been “Queued” for two and a half weeks now.\

Conclusion:  You need a university degree to deal with universities.

<3 DarkSlinky.