DarkSlinky

Posts Tagged ‘Beach’

I dreamt that I was on an island.

To set the scene; it was a tropical island, covered in dense forest and surrounded by shoaly, crystal-clear water.  The only feature of the island was a calm beach on the Eastern side, and on this beach, a quaint little outdoor cocktail bar, made of bamboo-like-material with colourful fluorescent lights – you know the sort.

The dream was another long one but regrettably I can’t remember most of it.  What I do remember, though, was standing on the beach, feeling the sand between my toes and the wind in my hair as I watched the ocean while the sun set behind me.  I then received a text message from Gavin telling me to meet him at the bar at 8:00pm.  I scowled and had the urge to throw my phone in the ocean, but decided against it.

Then someone walked past me and took my hand, leading me towards the ocean.  They turned to smile down at my surprised expression and I realised it was none other than Chad.  His hand was warm and his smile dazzling in the fading light.

He continued to lead me straight towards the ocean and pulled me into the lukewarm water.  We began to swim along a cliff-face until I noticed a hole in the rocks underneath us.  I asked what it was and Chad simply laughed, wrapped his arms around me and pulled me down towards it.  At first I felt afraid as he took me deeper and deeper, but then I completely relaxed and simply enjoyed the bubbles running over my skin, tickling me gently.

I then resurfaced alone.  Chad was gone, but I wasn’t bothered by it.  I looked around and realised it was growing dark quickly, so I began to climb the cliff-face, headed for a light above me that wasn’t visible from the coastline.  It was hard work and I was feeling salty and kind’ve sticky  from the ocean (ever had that feeling?).

I walked through a sort of passageway and entered a cave that contained a wooden cupboard, a white marble bench with a sink and a mirror above it, candles all around the cave and a bathtub in the middle.  The room was so beautifully set up, although once again I can’t remember specifics.  I remember the atmosphere being romantic and carefree.

Without hesitation I filled the bathtub with soapy, hot water, as though it was my own place, and I relished in the warm steam that filled the cold room.  Mind you, the cave was cold because the entrance didn’t have a door, meaning the cave was open.  From where the bath was I could see the ocean, the stars and the moon beyond the candlelit bathroom, and whatever was out there could see me.

I stripped off my clothes without worry or shame, I actually felt proud of my bare, white body in the dim light.  I scrubbed myself down before soaking in the sweet-scented bath for what seemed like hours, and I think a few hours actually passed in my dream (I imagine it would have been minutes or even seconds in ‘reality’).  When I entered the cave I estimate it would have been about 6.30pm in my dream.

Suddenly I remembered Gavin had asked me to meet him at the bar at 8:00pm and I knew that time had well passed.  I checked the time on my phone, 9:08pm, just before “Gavin calling…” began to flash on the screen.

I immediately jumped out of the bath and towelled myself down.  I felt cold and irritated as I answered the phone and his disappointed voice came through the speaker.

Gavin:  “Where are you?”
Me:  “I can’t explain…”
Gavin:  “Did you forget about me?”
Me:  “No, I –”
Gavin:  “Look, Jayne, it’s simply not good enough.
Me:  “But, I –”
Gavin:  “Forget it.  I’m going home.”

With that, he hung up, and I was left feeling angry and despaired.

I find the whole thing fascinating, honestly.

I had another strange dream last night, but I can’t remember any of it unfortunately.

Maybe my strange dreams will continue.

<3 DarkSlinky.

Last time I updated I was so out of it, haha.  I was over-tired.  I mentioned in my last blog that I had been upset on (correct me if I’m wrong) Wednesday night.  This requires a short-ish story.  If you’d rather just read about my awesome weekend, feel free to skip ahead. It’s not particularly interesting. 

A few years ago I was having a difficult time; I think I was about 14 years old.  I had an image as my desktop background that would make me feel better whenever I saw it (see below).  I knew it was from an anime, but I never knew which one.

Angel Sanctuary: All love lost.

I must have deleted the picture at some point and for years I could never find it again, until on Wednesday night.  I somehow came across it through Google and saved it again.  I even managed to learn which anime it came from; Angel Sanctuary.  It was kind of overwhelming to come across an image I had clung to during some of my darkest hours and the irony of it coming from an anime called “Angel Sanctuary” really struck a nerve with me.  So yeah, I was upset.

If I’m not making sense again, it’s because I’m tired.

Onward!

On Friday Gavin got a promotion which is really exciting for both of us.  The beginning of this year started out crap for me and got progressively worse.  Gavin suffered a break up through the year as well, so for us to have found happiness together as well as the promotion and me going back to university next year, the end of 2009 is really tying itself in a nice, neat, little bow for both of us.

Friday evening was really lovely.  I got all dressed up to go to a work Christmas party with Gavin.  The food was really good and I got to meet the people Gavin was working with before he got promoted, which he was proud to tell his work colleagues about through the night.

I think I’m falling for this guy, pretty sure he’s fallen for me. Squee!

I stayed at Gavin’s place Saturday night so we could get up early in the morning and spend some time with his grandparents and family before heading off to Tweed Heads.  I’m pretty sure his family likes me.

When we got to Tweed Heads Jeff was washing his car so I washed Gavin’s for him because I promised I would while we were in Bundaberg.  I’m the sort of girl who keeps her promises, something I’m quite proud of.

Saturday evening we went to watch the Roller Derby.  If you ever get the opportunity to watch it, go!  I would describe it as boxing in fishnets on roller skates.  I’m sure a lot of guys would be in to that!  I certainly was.  It was a lot of fun to watch, I thoroughly enjoyed it.  It’s definitely something I would watch on a regular basis and maybe even try out myself, just for the hell of it.

When we got back to Jeff’s after the Roller Derby we had a few drinks and then decided to go on a midnight run to McDonalds for ‘breakfast’.  Oh how I love having friends who are insane and spontaneous like I am!

So today, Sunday, Gavin and I wanted to go to the beach at Tweed because we didn’t have the opportunity to last time.  I took some photos of the same beach last time because I was so impressed with how beautifully clear and blue the water was.  It’s even better to swim in, even when it’s freezing cold.  I could have spent hours in there, although it’s probably lucky I didn’t because the water was freezing and I’ve had a throat infection for the past few days.  Lucky the breeze was warm or we would never have made it out of there alive, haha.

Jeff’s girlfriend, Amy, gave me a formal dress she bought years ago for cheap that has always been a little bit too small for her.  It’s black, silky and absolutely stunning; an elegant dress by all means.  I took some photos of me wearing it tonight, although I couldn’t get the back done up by myself and I could only take the photos in a dodgy little mirror in my kitchen/laundry.  You can sort of see what it looks like though.

I’m getting more tired.  Gavin left his work USB here so he’s going to come over and wake me up early in the morning.  It’ll be the first time I see him in his work uniform and I probably won’t even get out of bed.

I ate off cheese today. My stomach isn’t happy with me.

Check it out, I was just playing Minesweeper with my good friend Chris, also known as Darkr, and I fluked 6 shots (The ones circled in red).  How crazy is that?  I then won the match with one final fluke shot, which was where the red X is.

Fluke shots!

Sleeeeeeeeeep.

<3 DarkSlinky.

My weekend turned out to be a lot better than I expected it to be. I didn’t think it would be bad or anything, I just figured it’d be like all my previous visits to Bundaberg; hot, uneventful and just boring in general.

My parents left early on Friday morning so they could drop my Nanna at her twin brother’s house in Gin Gin. Gavin and I travelled up later in the afternoon because I needed to wait until lunch time to sign up with our new internet company, and he didn’t finish work until 3pm.

I spent the morning with Alex, trying to ‘sort out’ my Christmas present, driving to different places to see if they could do what he needed done to it. I had no idea what it was and he wouldn’t tell me so it was a bit of a mystery tour for me. In case you didn’t realise, I love ‘mystery tours’ and ‘adventures’ and anything that involves going somewhere with someone and causing mischief. In the end we gave up and went back to his place where he gave in and showed me what it is; a glove that fits over the first three fingers on your hand to help a pool cue slide along your thumb easier. He told me he intended to get “Slinky” embroidered in hot pink along one of the fingers. It sounds a bit random but Alex has been teaching me to play pool properly and my hands get sweaty easily so I constantly have to put chalk on my hand to help the cue slide along my thumb. Wearing a glove means I don’t have to worry about getting blue chalk all over my face anymore! Yay! Now all I need is a customised black pool cue with “Slinky” up the side in pretty writing. I might even start designing it.

The drive up to Bundaberg in the afternoon wasn’t exciting. I mean, it is just 4 hours of driving through Australian bush… Haha. It gave Gavin and I the chance just to be together and talk, though, which was really nice.

We stayed at my Mothers’ Aunty Nina’s (pronounced Nine-ah) for the weekend. She’s an amazing woman. Her name is actually Ingaborg, but my Grandmother (who was her little sister) couldn’t pronounce Ingaborg when she was young so she just started calling her Nina, and it stuck. She’s 89 years old, completely blind, mostly deaf and lives alone in a house she has owned for 55 years. She was very close to her two sisters, my Grandmother, Esther, and my Aunty Betty. Sadly they have both passed away, my Grandmother in December 2007 and Aunty Betty in January of this year. It pains me to think about it. My Aunty Nina is a lot like my Grandmother and I found myself often close to tears while I was with her. My Grandmother was a beautiful and inspirational woman and I miss her every day.

Saturday was a huuuuuge day. Firstly Gavin and I went to the Bundaberg Rum Factory in the morning. We bought 9 bottles of Rum Liqueur because that’s the only place you can buy it. It wasn’t all for us, we’re not that obsessed. 3 bottles were for Gavin’s mother, 3 bottles were for Gavin and 3 bottles were for me and my Dad. Okay, maybe we’re a little obsessed, but hey, rum is delicious.

We then met my Uncle and his girlfriend for lunch at my Mothers’ friend’s new Yum cha restaurant. Just so you know, poor Gavin was overloaded with my relatives throughout the weekend. He had never met any of these people before.

After lunch we went with my parents to a go kart track. Last time we went there I wasn’t quite old enough to drive a two-stroke go kart and I had to drive a four-stroke with my little nephew, but this time I was old enough. I was terrified I would flip and crash and explode and die but I’m the sort of person who challenges myself to do things I’m afraid of. I took the leap and enjoyed every second of it. I discovered I’m really not too bad at drifting around corners! My dad was so proud. I even overtook Gavin twice, but to be fair, his first go kart died and he weighs a lot more than I do. I’ve ended up with a massive bruise on my knee where it was resting against the steering column. I also got bruises on my shoulder blades from the seat and a burn on my arm from the engine, but it was all worth it. I had an absolute ball. I’d love to race professionally.

The three of us (Dad, Gavin and I) came off the track all sweaty and dry mouthed so my mother drove us to Bargara for a swim at the beach. It’s not a particularly impressive beach but a relaxing swim in the ocean will never go undesired on a hot day in Queensland.

Saturday afternoon was spent hunting for a pair of nice shoes because I had forgotten to pack mine and then getting all dressed up for my mothers’ cousin’s 50th birthday party. I’ll be uploading photos of all of these adventures.

My Auntie’s party was a lot of fun. Gavin and I spent the night meeting relatives, spending time with my parents, hunting for food and dancing. At one point I convinced Mum to come on to the dance floor with me and show me some of her dance moves from when she was my age. I always love dancing with Mum but after a while of dancing with her a man I hadn’t met before came over and swept me up in a dance of his own. Mum seemed relieved to be able to resume her seat. I can’t recall his name, but he was really good and he spun me around and round and swayed me and I just laughed the whole time. He said I did really well. I’ve never danced like that before and I certainly won’t be forgetting it in a hurry. He must have been a friend of my Auntie’s.

When our dance was over I politely thanked him and returned to my seat with Gavin, who was talking to my Mother and my Mother’s cousin. Turns out this cousin, Ian I think his name is, is a photographer and had been watching me throughout the night. He was telling Gavin and Mum about how he thinks I’m photogenic and would like to have a photo shoot with me one day. I felt incredibly flattered. It was the icing on the cake, my night was officially awesome. Little did I know it would only get better.

Upon exiting the party, quite a few of my Auntie’s commented on how good looking Gavin was and told me in private that they think he’s a wonderful man, a ‘keeper’ they called him, and told me to look after him. I told them I would most certainly keep this one.

My parents, Gavin and I returned to Aunty Nina’s house at about 11pm. When we got out of the car I commented on how beautiful the sky looked and the four of us stood there for a while trying to find the Southern Cross, but it must have been out of our view. I told them I’d like to sit outside for a while and watch the sky, one of the things I love to do if I have spare time in the evening. Gavin offered to join me. I can’t remember the last time I star gazed with company so it was really nice to have someone there with me.

While we sat there together and watched the stars I told Gavin about how they make me feel like both me and my problems are so small and insignificant. If I were to die the universe wouldn’t even flinch, it’s just so incomprehensible and vast. I’m just a spec in a picture so huge we meagre humans can’t even comprehend it. It gives me a sense of peace amongst the chaos and mayhem of my mind. I told him about how the stars remind me of people who have passed on from this life, how I’ve been to a lot of funerals for someone my age and how I miss each and every one of them. I told him about the numbness I’ve felt inside for the past few years, how I struggle to feel emotion after hurting for so long. He touched my cheek and must have felt that it was damp, because he pulled me close and told me I’m his world. Such a beautiful moment, you know the kind that just melts your heart? I’ve experienced more of these moments in the past month than I had over the course of my whole life. I’m appreciating every second of it.

Our weekend concluded nicely with the drive home being much the same as the drive up, except that we stopped for lunch at an old style Pizza Hut, which was a thoroughly enjoyable experience.

I find myself missing Nicki. A few weeks ago that he decided he didn’t want anything to do with me anymore; I don’t fully understand why. I wasn’t angry with him or anything, I just told him that I would miss him but that I wanted him to be happy and that he should do whatever he needed to do to achieve that. I guess his decision was to cut me out of his life. My life really isn’t the same without him and I hope he contacts me again sometime soon. I’m going to think about maybe contacting him myself.

Hmm. The bruise on my knee is turning black. That’s kind’ve freaky.

Sleep. Sleep.

<3 DarkSlinky.