DarkSlinky

Posts Tagged ‘Borderlands’

I realise I’ve been neglecting my blog a bit lately.  I guess it’s mostly due to the fact that I’ve been spending most days getting to know my wonderful new man.  The other reason is I’ve been thinking about my blog and what its’ purpose actually is.  I was re-reading my recent entries and I realised they’re more of a list of recent events, rather than an insight into my life, if you know what I mean.  Not that my life is particularly important or interesting, but I assume people would read my blog because it’s a window into someone else’s life, whether I’m someone you do or don’t know, someone you do or don’t like.

I haven’t been doing anything interesting lately anyway.  When my ex left me my sleeping patterns went haywire and I didn’t do housework for weeks and weeks.  The place was nasty, but I’ve really put myself into gear this past week.  I’ve got my resume nearly ready to go, all of my chores are up to date (dishes, washing, vacuuming, etc.) and for the first time in a year or more I feel as though I’m really in control of my life.  I’ve found it really interesting to reflect on my own thoughts and behaviours over the last year.

Towards the end of last year to the beginning of this year, my ex’s parents were getting divorced and selling their house.   He had nowhere to go so he moved in with me, despite him and his mother not really wanting him to.  I wanted him to; I was excited that we would get to live together after so many years in a relationship.  However, the whole situation became awkward and a lot of tensions arose.

To be honest, I was really quite depressed.  I would cry for no particular reason and get sick often.  I felt as though life was simply too much to bear and I wanted to put it on hold and curl up in a ball by myself for a few months.  As a result, I became unmotivated and began to fall behind at university, which increased the pressure on me… etcetera.

I feel ashamed of doing badly at university this year, mostly because I know I could do better.  After reflecting on the whole situation I honestly think that it wasn’t my fault.  I went through a difficult time and obviously couldn’t cope.  I just wonder sometimes if I’m just trying to justify it, to make excuses.  I did reach out for help but it fell through.  I’m glad I was able to sort things out myself, though.  I’m really quite proud of myself.

I believe deferring my university course for six months was the right thing to do.  It’s given me the chance to really figure things out.  I think a lot of people think I’m irresponsible for not having a job but this is what I needed so that I could figure myself out and really get into gear.  Afterall, there’s no point being in gear if you don’t want to accelerate.

At the moment I’m quite stressed about a few personal things… my health mostly, and a few issues with friends.  I won’t go into details right now because it’s late and I have to be up early.

Gavin stayed with me for the weekend, from Friday to today.  It’s really nice to have a man around the house again; someone to deal with the bugs and give me kisses and cuddles while waiting for Borderlands to load.

Ah, yes, Borderlands was released last week.  Well, eventually anyway.  Firstly the release date was 3 days early and then they realised they had released the wrong version in Australia.  Typical. Blah, blah, blah.

I’m looking forward to the future, anyway.  Things like having a clean house, nice hair-cut, new games, new clothes, new boyfriend, new friends, a job and the motivation to do really well at university next year.  Yes, hopefully things continue along this path. =)

I just realised my ramblings don’t really make a whole lot of sense.  I’m really quite tired.  I hope the points I’m trying to convey aren’t too hard to figure out… not that there’s really any point.  I’m mostly trying to reflect on the past to benefit the future.  If that makes sense?

Yeah, I need to sleep. Haha.

<3 DarkSlinky.

What have I been doing?

I can’t remember! I need to start writing these things down.

Oh yes. Tuesday I spent the day cleaning, and in the evening I’m pretty sure I went to Gavin’s to watch The Matrix and The Matrix Reloaded.  There had been a storm in the afternoon, for some reason storms put me in the mood for matrix style movies. I don’t know, I’m weird, okay? Haha.

Wednesday afternoon Gavin took me to meet some of his friends at a place in the city. We had a few drinks and played pool. I failed so badly, but it was fun.  It was an awesome place, I’m looking forward to going back there and hopefully doing better at pool, plus drinks were cheaper there than they are in other places.

Today I got up earlier and went over to my sisters’ place to spend some time with her and her daughter.  As I left she gave me a hug and a kiss which was a very pleasant surprise. My day certainly started out well, and only got better!

After visiting my sister, Monique and I went on incredibly-crazy-happy-fun-times adventures.  These adventures included getting a tyre changed and shopping! Oh, so much shopping.  Our shopping adventure isn’t even over yet.  Okay, so I was trying on this pair of black, slip-on shoes and they fit perfectly so I took them to the counter. The lady at the counter told me they had a 2 for $25 sale, so I grab a red pair in the same size. When I got home I realised that while the red pair say they’re the same size as the black ones, they’re actually a few sizes bigger. Moral of the story is always check the size of the shoe! Luckily I can exchange them, so I’ll do that sometime soon.  I also bought 2 dresses, one is a $109.95 cocktail dress marked down to $10; I kid you not! Bargain! Oh yes, I got a cute Hello Kitty bag too. Mew.

Tonight I was fortunate enough to receive pool lessons from Eevari and Alex while Gavin installed Starcraft Battle Chest for me as a surprise for when I got home.  Such a sweetie!  Next time I play pool in the city I’ll surprise them all with my new found skills, thanks to Alex.

I played some Left 4 Dead today, which kind of surprised my gaming friends because I told them I wouldn’t be playing it again.  I remembered all the reasons why I enjoy playing it though so I think I’ll get back into it.  Left 4 Dead 2 and Borderlands are in my Steam list ready to download; I’m so excited.  It’s only a few weeks until they’re released.

You know what words are good words? Hellishly and bodacious. Alex just said them to me and I thought to myself, “… Those are noteworthy words.”  Yep.  So I stole them.

Time for a shower. I got a 14 day free trial of World of Warcraft so I feel dirty.

<3 DarkSlinky.

Today we had a big family barbeque.  I always love when we do because I get to see all of my siblings, nieces and nephews together in one place.  I feel bad though, because I woke up late and didn’t get to help Mum as much as I would have liked to.  She forgave me though, which was good.

The lunch was in honour of my brothers’ fiancée.  In June of this year she suffered a massive heart attack and we very nearly lost her.  It was a terrible thing for my whole family to experience.  Dad, Liam and I had to fly to Melbourne a few days after it happened (another story in itself), and unfortunately I didn’t receive as much emotional support as I should have.  Dad understood how I felt though and together we worried and missed the rest of my family until it was time to fly home.  I hope it’s not something that occurs in my family again.  Today was to show her that we appreciate her and we love her.  The neighbours also decided to stop in so our family could meet their new baby boy; today was certainly a celebration of life.

It was also a good opportunity for Gavin to meet the rest of my family.  It turned out to be a really lovely day and my siblings really seemed to like him, which makes me happy.  He’s a charming gentleman who clearly has my best interests at heart, and that seemed to really impress my brothers and sisters.  They want what’s best for me, and so do I!  I need a man who will treat me right and make me feel special.   I’m beginning to ramble, moving on…

After everyone left Gavin and I played some Team Fortress 2 and Left 4 Dead.  My gaming friend, Hayden, asked me if I’d like to go in with them in buying a Left 4 Dead 2 four pack and someone from Pants Party asked the same of a Borderlands four pack.  I didn’t plan to buy either game for a while, but the advantage of buying games in a group is that you get them a lot cheaper.  I decided to take the opportunity; why not?  I’ve been thoroughly enjoying life lately and want to continue to do so.  Not that I need games to enjoy life, but yay for games!

Tonight Gavin and I went over to Alex and Eevari’s house, saw Alex before he went to work, then we had some dinner and played pool.  You know, I’m really not too bad at pool for someone who sucks at it. Haha.

A few people have asked me if I’m in a relationship with Gavin but the answer as of yet is no.  I am interested in Gavin and I do like him, but I’m not ready for a new relationship yet.  Four years is a long time to have been with someone and I still need some time to focus on myself.  I’m really proud of the fact that I’m mature enough to recognise the sort of position I’m in and how best to approach the future.  The near future is looking to be full of hope and happiness, something I didn’t expect quite so soon but it’s certainly a pleasant surprise.

I’ve already spoken to him about it all so it’s not like I’m announcing these sorts of things randomly in my blog!  That would be an awful thing to do, haha.

I’ll upload a couple of photos from the Barbeque today. Enjoy!

Jayne, Dad and Madonna.

Brothers' Fiancée.

Crazy scientist hair!

<3 DarkSlinky.