DarkSlinky

Posts Tagged ‘Family’

It has been nearly two weeks since I last updated.  First off; Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to everyone!  2009 was one hell of a year and I’m sure I’m not the only one who is more than willing to leave it in the past.

All that aside though, I think it’s about time to look to the future.

For Christmas I got a Celestron AstroMaster 130EQ MD Reflector Telescope and Viva la Juicy perfume from Gavin.  I was so overjoyed that I cried.  I’ve always been interested in astronomy and I love to sit outside and gaze at the stars, so owning a telescope is a big deal to me. I was in shock for a few days.  My family were all very impressed.  Last night was the first clear night we’ve had since Christmas so we were able to take it out for a spin.  I’m going to have to practise aiming it at stars, but we did manage to focus on the moon.  Happy!

I’ve had an immense amount of fun spending time with my boyfriend, my family and my friends over Christmas and New Years Eve.  Nicki and I have been in contact again which made me realise just how much I missed him.  I’m very thankful to have him back in my life.

New Years Eve was not only a blue moon, but there was also a Partial Lunar Eclipse at approximately 10:30pm my time (whatever time that is.. haha).  To mark the occasion I was planning to head down to a beachside park called Moora Park; the place where my ex had asked me out under a full moon back in 2005.  I wanted to be there to watch the moon rise so I could pay my respects to the passing of the second decade of my life.  It may seem a little silly but it was to be my final way to let go of the past and move on with my life.  I mean, four years out of the last decade were spent with him.

Anyway, I decided all of this was way too depressing and instead I invited my friends to get dressed up with me and go together to Moora Park to have photos taken with the blue moon as it rose over the ocean, because it’s always magnified when it’s low on the horizon.  Unfortunately there were clouds on the horizon and we didn’t see it rise, but we did get a stack of really beautiful photos.  I shall upload them at some point.  We didn’t get to see the lunar eclipse due to cloudy skies but we still had a good night.

I’ve been feeling much more free since then.  For the first time in my life my year ended better than it started.  Hopefully from here on in it will be more common.  It seems happiness is rare for me, probably about as rare as a Partial Lunar Eclipse over a blue moon on the eve of the end of a decade.  Turns out these do occur.

Despite all this fun and freedom though I’ve been feeling very stressed.  Now that January is upon us the pressure is on for me to decide what to do this year and I have no idea where to start.  I was so certain I wanted to go back and do psychology but I had a ‘revelation’ (I guess you could call it?) and realised it’s not for me.  Or is it?? I love studying cognition, behaviour and biology but the statistics, research reports and journal articles were really killing me.  Being a clinical psychologist or even a counsellor would drain you emotionally every day.

I’m considering going into the IT department.  This is mainly because I love computers; building them, learning about them, teaching people about them, helping people fix them, etc.

This year I will go back to university, defer for another 6 months or cancel altogether.  Either way there is pressure; pressure to study, pressure to work.  Gavin is the only one telling me I have time to find my place in this world.  Honestly, I hope my place is with him.  I don’t know what I did to deserve a man like him, but I swear I must be the luckiest woman on this puny little planet.

I have plans!  I want to re-activate my gaming clan, Fraternity of Valour.   I want to go to Perth to meet the boys from my other clan, Pants Party, and see my Aunty.  I want to go to New Zealand to spend time with Emma.  I feel the urge to fight hard for a job, seeing as my search has still been unsuccessful.  I want people to remember me as someone who does what she needs to do.

I need motivation. Raaaaaar! </wookie>

<3 DarkSlinky.

No doubt everyone who reads my blog (if anyone!) noticed my ‘Rant’ from last night.  The reason I write this blog to help me clear my head and improve my writing skill, but some things I write shouldn’t be read by the public.  That means you, sorry.

I’ll give you the gist of it so the only things you’re missing out on are the specifics, the whinging and the CAPS, haha.  Basically, I stumbled across some information last night that may suggest some people I know may have done some things that are hurtful to me on two separate occassions.  Oh, how discreet was that??  Genius.

So yeah, I was pretty upset.  Luckily I had the support of some truly amazing people; Mike, Max, Alex, Rythn, Graeme, Chad, Luke, Blair, Keeley, Fen, Snags, Ben, Darkr and of course Gavin.  I have other friends I know I could have called on if I needed to as well; Emma, Don, Josh, Dani, Vinnie, Abe, Bolo, Alan, Tom and Michael (if I’ve forgotten anyone please tell me, you all know my memory is shocking!)

To my friends; It’s important for me to tell you that  I appreciate each and every one of you for the unique qualities that make you the irreplaceable people you are.  I love you guys with all my heart.  You make a difference in my life; the days I speak to you are brighter and happier than the days I don’t speak to you.  I miss you when you’re not there.  There are a lot of bad people in this world, but you guys are the perfect example of how there is still good left in the world.  You give me confidence in humanity.  I only hope I return the favour in the same way.

Today was my sister’s birthday so Mum, Dad, my nephew, my Mum’s cousin, Gavin and I went over there to have dinner with my sister, her husband and her daughter.  It was really good to see her again.  I haven’t been spending much time with her lately because we’ve both been sick and I’ve truly missed her.  She got a telescope for her birthday so I’m planning to go over there one night and try it out.  How exciting, we finally have a telescope in the family!  All my brothers and sisters and I have a fascination for astronomy.

Gavin went home early but ended up coming back because I was still upset over the whole finding-out-hurtful-things fiasco and he wanted to make me feel better.  I have never felt so unconditionally loved and supported.  His insight is always straight-forward, simple and effective.  He never fails to make me smile.

When we’re sitting together under the stars with his arms around me, my head on his chest where I can feel his heartbeat, I feel so safe, so complete, and so free.  That’s all I want in life; safety, completeness and freedom.  I don’t like sounding corny about things but I really can’t help it when I’m talking about him… this is honestly just the way I feel.  I’m still coming to terms with the fact I’m with someone who cares about me and wants me to be happy.   My love for him is definitely something that could last a lifetime.  I hope that’s the path we go down.

Gavin came across this song that he said reminded him of me.  See what you think.

Orianthi – According to you.

Here is a song that reminds me of him.  I think I may have put it in my blog before, but now it has more significance in my life.

Muse – Undisclosed desires.

Now, off to make my bed!

<3 DarkSlinky.

Photos from my wonderful weekend spending time with family in Bundaberg.

Enjoy!

Gavin, Aunty Nina and I.

Gavin, me being crushed by Aunty Lyndall and cousin Lauren.

Aunty Lyndall, Gavin, me and cousin Lauren.

Me, trying to get in the go kart: It was a mission!

Got in! Woohoo! Gavin and Dad are behind me.

Bruise on my knee from go karting: Immediately after.

WE ROCK! Get it? Get it? Haha.

What a wonderful husband he would make!

Bruise from go karting: A few hours after.

Bruise from go karting: A few hours after.

Gavin and I.

Gavin and I.

Bruise from go karting: A few days later.

Bruise from go karting: A few days later.

Gavin and I: Awwwwwww!!

Gavin and I: Why is he always licking my face??

Gavin and I.

Gavin and I.

Mum and I.

Mum and I: I love this photo so, so much.

<3 DarkSlinky.