DarkSlinky

Posts Tagged ‘Friends’

I learnt something today.

“What doesn’t kill us, defines us.”

It’s interesting, isn’t it?  I think it’s very true.  The way people react to anything, whether it’s something big or small, reveals what sort of person they really are.

I like to think I’m a good person.  I may be stubborn as hell, clumsy and a master of procrastination, but I’m pretty level-headed (when it comes to other people, anyway).  I’m not easily angered and I don’t hold grudges.  I’m overly emotional but, as someone pointed out, it’s not exactly a weakness.  The same person told me I’m inspirational, though what I would inspire in someone, I don’t know.

I had quite a few of my family and friends contact me after my last blog post asking me if I was okay.  I didn’t realise how many people actually read my blog, let alone how worried I had made them.  It definitely was a rough patch but it didn’t last long and I’m a tough cookie (…Mmmm.. cookie).  I’m much more emotionally stable now and hopefully things remain that way, but I’m prepared if I started to slide again.

I’ve realised over the past few days just how much people care about me, which has really helped me to pick up again.  In hindsight it was ridiculous of me to think I was so alone, but that’s just how it goes, I guess.  I will probably feel secluded again if I end up in the same situation.  Unfortunately it’s something I can’t control.

I can now think of at least 10 people off the top of my head who have told me they keep me in their thoughts or have gone out of their way to help me.  I haven’t even met most of them but I love them dearly and intend to meet them all one day.

I think I’m rambling.  I’ll probably read this tomorrow and facepalm.

I’m really tired after a whole 4 hours of work… hurr.

On a random note, I have a piece of bone trying to emerge from my gum.  It’s cut up, swollen and incredibly sore.  I also suspect I’m getting a cold.  Yeah, I’m pretty out of it.  Must be time to numb my mouth and go to bed.

<3 DarkSlinky.

My last job interview went exceptionally well.  I practically walked in there and got the job, which was a luxury after so many challenging job interviews.  The interview went something like this:

Interviewer:  “Are you currently employed?”
Me:  “No, I’m not.”
Interviewer:  “Are you 18?”
Me:  “I’m nearly 20.”
Interviewer:  “Do you have your driver’s licence?”
Me:  “Yes, and my own car.”
Interviewer:  “You’re well presented, well spoken and well mannered.  I’m going to offer you the job.”

I mean, I could be a well presented, well spoken and well mannered sociopathic criminal, couldn’t I?  (Don’t worry; I’m not one, as far as I know) Not that I’m complaining; a job is a job, and I now have one.

I picked up all the forms I needed on Sunday and submitted them first-ish thing Monday morning.  My induction was supposed to be today, but due to the fact I was apparently the only one who submitted their forms on time, the induction has been moved to next week.  I suppose I have the right to be angry about it but I’m a pretty easy going person.  At least they know I’m keen and reliable, and I know I won’t have much competition at work where responsibility is concerned.

So, after so many disheartening months of unsuccessful interviews, I’m finally in a situation with minimal stress.  Now the only question I find myself asking (besides, of course, how can I go about easily acquiring delicious bacon?) is what do I want to do with my life?  Why is it that the most complicated questions are able to be spelt out so simply?  Of course, it’s never as simple as it seems.

Despite the fact I’ve made a lot of new friends lately, I find myself feeling increasingly secluded.  I’m becoming an emotional hermit when I was once open and trusting (using the word ‘hermit’ makes me feel like I’m calling myself a crab, and I rather like it).  I think it’s because I don’t want to bore people with my tiresome concerns and issues.  Unless I’m asked directly, I figure people just don’t want to know, which is fair enough.  I can’t work out whether or not I like it this way, but least I get to see who really cares and who is just in it for the epic gaming sessions.

At this point in time, all of my friends are either busy all the time, live a long way away, are moving overseas, find it satisfying to completely avoid me for months at a time or all of the above.  As a result, I’m left with just myself and my precious little Chihuahua.  I can’t say she’s really the conversational type, though.  She’s more the ‘give me food and let me sit on your freshly washed clothes’ type.  At least she’s fluffy, cuddly and warm.

I’m looking forward to seeing my family on Saturday for my nephews 1st birthday.  At least I know that whatever happens with my friends, I’ll always have my parents, brothers and sisters.

I listen to people who describe their loved ones in ways that make me think, “I would love to have someone who described me in a similar way,” and I realised the other night that my family, my Dad in particular, talks about me in a way that makes me look admirable.  I know this because whenever I’m out with him and we come across his friends, they often say things like, “Oh, THIS is the daughter who loves cars?  You must be proud,” or “Congratulations on the new job!”  You know, in the sort of way that implies my Dad is a proud father.  Makes me feel comforted to know that no matter what I do, my Dad is proud of me.

The moral of the story is get out there and SHOW people when you care about them and admire them, because otherwise, how are they supposed to know?  Everyone is carrying some kind of burden and help is always appreciated.  Well, not always, but at least you know you’ve done the right thing.  I’ve been pretty slack in showing people I care lately, so I think I’ll make an effort to step it up.

Also, give me bacon.

<3 DarkSlinky.

I dreamt I was standing in the immense lobby of a resort on the Gold Coast.  It was an incredible room of modern design; very sleek with glass stairs and a lot of bright colours.  The light of the setting sun poured in through the two storey glass panels that made up the walls, which gave the room a very warm atmosphere.  Outside I could see the beach was right next to the resort.

I was on a school camp and my friends and I decided to explore the resort.  We were going up and down in the elevators, looking at the different floors and getting lost, as you do in dreams that don’t really make a lot of sense.

After we found our room we decided to cause some mischief and my friend, Lynnette, managed to steal one of the cleaners ID cards; the kind they use to operate the workers elevators.  We were playing in those elevators for a while before we arrived at the lobby again.  I wandered off, admiring the lobby, and when I turned around, I realised my friends had jumped back in the elevator.  I ran after them but the doors closed just before I got there.

I stood there pushing the elevator button, feeling alone and not wanting to be separated from my friends, when the doors opened and there stood a group of cleaners eyeing me suspiciously.  I exclaimed that I was lost before walking back towards the lobby, where I came across a teacher from my high school and a few students from my primary school.  The teacher asked me what I was doing and I replied with, “Nothing… Emma, Nicki, Lynnette and I just got lost,” before I walked away, worried about my friends.

Then I woke up.