It’s been over two weeks since I’ve slept properly.  I get a maximum of a few hours sleep a night, and when I do sleep, I continue to dream of horrific things in full detail.

I often dream of houses that are beautiful in the daytime, but when night falls there are things in the darkness that chase me and try to kill me, most often big, black monsters or rotting corpses.  I sometimes find myself having to defend myself while others just stand around and watch.  It sounds kind of childish, but when you’re dreaming these things in detail over an extended amount of time it can really eat away at your sanity.

I’ve had too many dreams to write about them all, but last night is a good example of the things I’ve been dreaming.  I warn you, don’t read them if you’re easily distressed, because they are graphic and quite disturbing.

I dreamt that the sun was bright and I was standing in the middle of an open area near a river, but my attention was focused on the eyes of a man I didn’t know.  They were full of fear and even though I wanted to understand why, he was silent.  It was like we were having a conversation with our eyes.  His face was inches from mine when the top half of his head suddenly burst open in an explosive-type-manner.  I felt his still warm blood splatter over me and run down my face.  All that was left in front of me was his slackened bottom-jaw and an unrecognisable, bright-red mass of flesh, teeth and bone.  The gore was almost unbearable.

I then dreamt that I was standing in a cold, small, grey room with a glass panel in one wall revealing another grey room.  There were people behind me, but they felt like shadows.  Through the glass panel I could see a muscular man in white pants strapped to a table, gagged and struggling to get free.  The room he was in began to fill with a thick, colourful liquid, like different kinds of jelly mixed in together.  The table the man was lying on then began to move him into a crucifix position, his arms outstretched.

I could feel the cold glass on my palm as I put my hand on the window.  I couldn’t understand what was happening.  His eyes were full of fear.  He managed to get free of the gag, but not his bindings.  He began to scream as the liquid wrapped around his legs and I could see the flesh on his feet burning.  I was horrified and frantically began to look for a way to help him.  No one tried to stop me as I proceeded to enter the room through a series of metal doors.  The jelly-liquid immediately began to burn me, it was now waist-deep.  I rushed to help the man, fighting through my own pain and trying to ignore his anguished screams.  As I struggled to remove the straps around his arms I glanced around to see the shadowed faces were blank and emotionless.  I felt exasperated and weak as my body began to shut down and the world went black.

I don’t like not having control over what goes through my head, especially while I sleep.  Sleep is supposed to be restful, but at this point in time it just feels like torture.  I’m afraid to sleep in case I dream these disgusting things.  I’m also afraid of darkness, as ridiculous as it sounds.

At the moment I’m on-edge as well as physically and emotionally exhausted.  I feel like there are hard times ahead and I just hope I can maintain a sense of hope, especially while most of my friends are either far away or ignoring me for no good reason.

This song probably best portrays how I’ve been feeling over the past few weeks:
Slipknot – Vermillion Pt. 1.

In any case, I’m looking forward to settling in to my new job in the coming week.

I spent my first paycheque on Pokémon Heartgold for my brand new DS, which was bought for me by a very special man for my 20th birthday (even though it’s still a month away).  I’ve spent the lonely days and nights obsessing over it.  It cheers me up most of the time, I enjoy it a lot, and I feel like a true geek walking around with my Pokéwalker.

Maybe tonight I’ll sleep peacefully.  Here’s hoping.

<3 DarkSlinky.

Interviewer:  “Are you currently employed?”
Me:  “No, I’m not.”
Interviewer:  “Are you 18?”
Me:  “I’m nearly 20.”
Interviewer:  “Do you have your driver’s licence?”
Me:  “Yes, and my own car.”
Interviewer:  “You’re well presented, well spoken and well mannered.  I’m going to offer you the job.”

I mean, I could be a well presented, well spoken and well mannered sociopathic criminal, couldn’t I?  (Don’t worry; I’m not one, as far as I know) Not that I’m complaining; a job is a job, and I now have one.

I picked up all the forms I needed on Sunday and submitted them first-ish thing Monday morning.  My induction was supposed to be today, but due to the fact I was apparently the only one who submitted their forms on time, the induction has been moved to next week.  I suppose I have the right to be angry about it but I’m a pretty easy going person.  At least they know I’m keen and reliable, and I know I won’t have much competition at work where responsibility is concerned.

So, after so many disheartening months of unsuccessful interviews, I’m finally in a situation with minimal stress.  Now the only question I find myself asking (besides, of course, how can I go about easily acquiring delicious bacon?) is what do I want to do with my life?  Why is it that the most complicated questions are able to be spelt out so simply?  Of course, it’s never as simple as it seems.

Despite the fact I’ve made a lot of new friends lately, I find myself feeling increasingly secluded.  I’m becoming an emotional hermit when I was once open and trusting (using the word ‘hermit’ makes me feel like I’m calling myself a crab, and I rather like it).  I think it’s because I don’t want to bore people with my tiresome concerns and issues.  Unless I’m asked directly, I figure people just don’t want to know, which is fair enough.  I can’t work out whether or not I like it this way, but least I get to see who really cares and who is just in it for the epic gaming sessions.

At this point in time, all of my friends are either busy all the time, live a long way away, are moving overseas, find it satisfying to completely avoid me for months at a time or all of the above.  As a result, I’m left with just myself and my precious little Chihuahua.  I can’t say she’s really the conversational type, though.  She’s more the ‘give me food and let me sit on your freshly washed clothes’ type.  At least she’s fluffy, cuddly and warm.

I’m looking forward to seeing my family on Saturday for my nephews 1st birthday.  At least I know that whatever happens with my friends, I’ll always have my parents, brothers and sisters.

I listen to people who describe their loved ones in ways that make me think, “I would love to have someone who described me in a similar way,” and I realised the other night that my family, my Dad in particular, talks about me in a way that makes me look admirable.  I know this because whenever I’m out with him and we come across his friends, they often say things like, “Oh, THIS is the daughter who loves cars?  You must be proud,” or “Congratulations on the new job!”  You know, in the sort of way that implies my Dad is a proud father.  Makes me feel comforted to know that no matter what I do, my Dad is proud of me.

The moral of the story is get out there and SHOW people when you care about them and admire them, because otherwise, how are they supposed to know?  Everyone is carrying some kind of burden and help is always appreciated.  Well, not always, but at least you know you’ve done the right thing.  I’ve been pretty slack in showing people I care lately, so I think I’ll make an effort to step it up.

Also, give me bacon.

<3 DarkSlinky.

I’m feeling very sleepy at the moment, but it’s been about a week and a half since I left Gavin and I’ve just realised the numbness I’ve felt for the past few months has started to fade.

I’ve started to really enjoy every day, simply spending time with friends and getting up to mischief.  Despite my parents being quite negative towards me lately, I feel very hopeful about the future.  I know the next few weeks are going to be really memorable with the opening of the Mana Bar this Saturday.

I feel motivated to find a job and get my house organised again.  I don’t feel so motivated to look into university but I think that’s mainly because my parents are discouraging me to enrol in the course I’m interested in, which is a Bachelor of Education.  My sister decided to tell them teachers have the highest suicide rate of anyone and I think my parents have freaked out.  I think they’re underestimating me though.  Teaching is something I’m passionate about and my background in Psychology would definitely come in handy.

Dad:  “Do you really want to be a teacher? I reckon it’d be a horrible job, dealing with kids these days… :\”
Me:  “Someone has got to do it. ”

I expect some days I’ll still feel down and unmotivated, but I’m so happy to be ‘feeling’ again; everything from happiness, sadness, anger, pain, hope, motivation, jealousy, amusement… the list goes on and on and it’s all great. (I just thought I’d list the emotions I’ve felt recently, quite random..)

<3 to all my friends who stuck by me despite my whinging over the past few weeks… Haha.

Time to pick up again.

I’ve also been enjoying getting to know my Team Fortress 2 clan, Pants Party, better.  Alex and I met another Brisbane member a few weeks ago.  In the coming weeks I’ll hopefully get to meet the rest of the Brisbane Pants Party guys as well as the few members who are flying in to Brisbane from various places in April.  It’s going to be so epic! >:3

I’ve realised the music I listen to definitely reflects the way I’m feeling.  The past few months I’ve been listening to Slipknot, Evanescence and System of a Down quite obsessively, but now I’m obsessed with Pendulum.  Check it ouuut:  Pendulum – The other side.

Lovelovelovelove!

<3 DarkSlinky.

So I thought I would do a quick update.

Let’s see…

Mostly I’ve just been sorting out some relationship issuuuuuuues (mer, mer, mer, you know how it is) as well as job hunting, which has been unsuccessful, I might add.

I’ve been feeling pretty down about it all so I’ve been playing games with friends, studying Japanese and making amigurumi in my spare time to cheer myself up.  It does the trick most of the time.  I’ve also found a few nice hiding spots in my little neighbourhood if I need to get away and think by myself for a while.

I have pretty much decided I’ll go back to university to study a Bachelor of Education as well as Japanese on the side, next semester if possible.  I shall have to look into that…

Lately I’ve become a little obsessed with Quake 3 Arena and Poker.  Yep, I learnt how to play real poker!  I thought I would be crap at it but apparently I’m not too bad.  I just have to practise my poker face.

I’ll have to post pictures of my little amigurumi projects, so I can see how I’ve improved.  I’m currently working on a cutesie little Kirby.  <3

Tomorrow is going to be another crazy day, I know it.

Bring it onnnn! >:3

<3 DarkSlinky.

On Sunday I was in a really foul mood due to the fact I didn’t sleep much, also because I’ve had persistent back pain since Thursday.  Apart from that, though, things are really starting to look up as my weekly routine begins to fall back into place after being disrupted years ago due to my feelings of worthlessness… </emo>.

Last week I finally got my phone number back, so I’ve gradually been recollecting everyone’s phone numbers again.  It feels great to be able to contact my friends whenever I want to, and for people to be able to contact me again.  Getting my phone number back also meant something else; I could finally start actively looking for a job again.

I applied for a few jobs over the weekend, but today I applied for a job at the place my niece has been learning to swim, and the place my sister recently got a job as a swimming trainer for children.  Within a few hours of me sending in my application, the boss called me and asked if I could come in for an interview on Monday.

I’m so stoked!  The job at this place wasn’t even advertised or anything, I just thought I would apply there and see what would happen.

So, I spent the day bouncing around and telling everyone I finally got an interview and it’s somewhere I’d not only feel comfortable, but I’d also feel passionate about the work I’d be doing.

I feel like a huge burden has been lifted.  Even though I still don’t know what I want to do about the university course I’m enrolled in, I feel like I’m a lot closer to finding the answers to my questions.

Getting to the ‘Interview’ stage of applying for a job has also substantially boosted my confidence, even if I don’t get the job.  It’s been years since I’ve had a job interview and it feels good to be back in the game.  The language and attitude the boss was using over the phone has given me a lot of confidence too; he seemed impressed and keen to meet me.

I’m very excited and nervous and I really hope this works out for me.

I’m trying not to get my hopes up too high, but that’s kind of tricky, as you can imagine.

This week I started teaching piano to my niece again.  Once I get this job situation sorted out I might be able to find more students, which would be great!

There is a wonderful man, my other half, waiting in my bed for me.  I think I shall go join him.

<3 DarkSlinky.

I’ve been having nightmares again, so I haven’t been sleeping well.  Last night was the first decent night’s sleep in a while, and even then I woke up halfway through the night and couldn’t stop coughing.  I’m surprised I didn’t wake Gavin up.

I’ve had this horrible cough for days.  I think it’s safe to say it’s a result of the sinus (or whatever it was) infection I had.  I probably caught it at Big Day Out last Sunday.

I also got really badly sunburnt at Big Day Out , despite putting sun cream on.  It was such a hot day that they had hoses spraying water out over the crowds to keep everyone cool, so I think all the sun cream was washed off.  On Wednesday my back was covered in blisters and a few days ago it started peeling.  It’s really quite disgusting.  Big Day Out was awesome though, so it was worth it anyway.

If you’d like a preview of what Big Day Out was like, there are a lot of pretty good clips on YouTube of different bands and stuff.  Muse was by far the best, though.  Here is a decent clip of them singing Stockholme Syndrome – Keep in mind I was up the front, just in front of the bigger screen on the right, which was also where the EPICALLY HUGE speakers were.  They played great songs.  I could feel the bass shaking every part of my body.  Delicious.

Unfortunately dermatitis has come up on my hands and scalp again, probably from stress.

A couple of days ago a big cut appeared on the inside of my gum (the side that’s under my tongue).  I suspect there may be a loose piece of bone under there (from when I had my wisdom teeth removed last year) that’s cutting through my gum.  I’ll have to go to the dentist to get it checked out if it doesn’t heal up.  I hope this cough goes away before then.  I don’t want to be coughing in the dentists face… it must be pretty gross being a dentist sometimes.

I’ve made countless attempts to retrieve my old mobile number, I still haven’t been successful.  It’s getting to a ridiculously frustrating level now.  I went as far as to submit a complaint to my phone company – Virgin – and I will definitely be posting my story on a few forums, although I won’t tell it here now.  It’s definitely getting its’ own rant.

Despite looking for a job, I can’t apply for anything until I get my number back because it’s my only direct point of contact apart from e-mail and I’m pretty sure employers aren’t going to contact me over the internet.  Not having a job and not attending university is giving me a sense of worthlessness and I feel really pathetic depending on my parents while I’m an adult.  I’m so financially strained at the moment too; it’s a terribly stressful situation.

Thursday was a good day.  I spent the morning cleaning Gavin’s car from top to bottom.  As a thankyou gift he took me out for dinner and then he bought me a pair of very expensive, leather, thigh-high, stiletto, Mollini boots I’ve had both my eyes on for a few weeks (I’m a lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky girl!!! >.<)

Boots to die for.

Thursday evening Alex came over and brought with him a Nintendo 64 game I’ve been looking for for years; Pokemon Stadium 2.  In most shops it’s worth $60 – $80 but he managed to get it for me for $45 which is great because I think the classic Nintendo 64 games are only going to increase in value now.  I found out my Nintendo 64 is worth up to $130.

Saturday morning I woke up feeling really under the weather after a bad nights sleep, luckily I had my wonderful boyfriend there to comfort me and give me sympathy.  He got out of bed and while I slept a few more hours he cleaned my house; bathroom, kitchen and lounge room before making a cup of lemsip for me to wake up to.  Thank goodness I have one less thing to worry about.

The rest of Saturday, Alex, Lynnette, Gavin, Nicki and I spent with Emma.  We hung out at her house for a while and had lunch at a nice cafe before it was time to travel to the airport to say our “See you laters.”  It was truly heartbreaking to witness.  Emma told us she was nervous and wasn’t ready to leave yet.  Everyone knew I would be upset so all their eyes were on me.  I couldn’t look at her for fear of bursting into tears, which I did as I watched her walking to the gate.  I hope I get to go see her in New Zealand this year, but oh, here comes the money issue again…

I’ve been really snappy.  I’m finding it increasingly difficult to trust people, whether they are friends or family, and I’m not exactly sure why.  This, in turn, makes me feel very alone, especially since I keep a lot of my troubles to myself.  I’m very good at putting forward a happy persona when it’s just not how I’m feeling.

I know it doesn’t seem all bad but it’s been a pretty rocky road and I just wish life would cut me a break at the moment.

The only thing I can really do is harden up and keep pushing forward; wait for my health to improve, see the dentist, sort out my phone number and then apply for jobs.  It’s important to focus on the positives, and I’ve definitely had a few days this week where I’ve been spoilt by my loved ones.

On a better note, Gavin spent this afternoon teaching me how to play Command and Conquer: Red Alert 3 and I really enjoyed it.  After a couple of failed games I managed to grasp the concept and got the ball rolling.  There was one point in the game that made me laugh…

Gavin:  “How are you going over there?”
Computer:  “Your enemy has been defeated.” (By yours truly!)
Jayne:  “Yeah, pretty good.”
Gavin:  “Oh, nice work.”

I also had a game with Gavin and Fen from Pants Party.  I think the boys found my noobness highly amusing.

Jayne:  “Oh, look!  There’s a cute puppy in my base!”
Gavin:  “He’s not on our team…”
Jayne:  “Oh, what?  Crap.”

Check out my awesome shirt.  Thank YOU SplitReason!

"Forget headshots, I aim for the NUTS!"

Yes, that is a bacon sticker on my head.

<3 DarkSlinky.

The past week has mostly involved games, shopping, get-togethers, job hunting and soul discovering.

Over the past few weeks I have acquired quite a few new games, thanks to the epic Steam Christmas sales.  Also thanks to Gavin for buying me some of my new games <3.  My spare time has been spent getting to know them better (especially Unreal Tournament); however ‘spare time’ has been a rare luxury.

Mind you, I love spending time with my friends and I will continue to do so as much as possible before Emma goes back home to New Zealand.  Some days we spend just shopping or hanging out at home together, and other days we’ll invite everyone to come together and talk, swim, play games and drink together.

Our most common topic of conversation would have to be Monique and how much she is missing out on simply by avoiding me (which as you know, is not my fault).  It’s just a combination of irritating people and a series of unfortunate events.

I spent today sulking and whinging about being sore from head to toe.  Last night I went into the city with a few friends for a ladies night on the town.  It was my first time clubbing and my god, it was incredible.  I don’t exactly remember the details of how we got to the club, but I remember once we got there I had the time of my life.  We danced for hours and then ate the most amazing tasting sausage rolls.  Oh yes, it was a night I will not forget.

The whole job hunting thing is stressing me out.  I’ve decided to defer university but I just feel like I’m wasting time.  At the same time, I don’t know if I’ll go back or drop out completely.  I don’t want it to look like I’ve given up because it was too hard, because that’s not the case at all.  I feel really bad for always bringing the topic up with my friends, because they either don’t know what to say or just tell me the same thing.  I’m looking for the answer but I need to find it in myself.

If I defer I have another 6 – 12 months to decide whether or not to go back into psychology or do something else, anyway.  I guess that is a big benefit.

I’ve had a (so far) mild case of insomnia again.  I think it started because I began to have nightmares again after New Year’s Eve.  They would have been triggered by a combination of things, including a really loud bang I heard while sitting in the backyard that frightened me.

Beware, I’m going to talk about “women’s things” to finish off – yes, Don, this warning is for you.

I find it interesting that all my friends monthly cycles synchronised to mine.  I find it even more interesting that all the men we’ve been spending a lot of time with have become very ‘pissy’.  One has even said to me that he has been very moody and he doesn’t understand why.  I told him he has PMS, which went down surprisingly well.  It seems there is evidence to support that women’s bodies synchronise, but I’m wondering it’s possible for men to ‘synchronise’ too… if you know what I mean?

Anyway, I should really try and sleep. Wish me luck!

<3 DarkSlinky.

All that aside though, I think it’s about time to look to the future.

For Christmas I got a Celestron AstroMaster 130EQ MD Reflector Telescope and Viva la Juicy perfume from Gavin.  I was so overjoyed that I cried.  I’ve always been interested in astronomy and I love to sit outside and gaze at the stars, so owning a telescope is a big deal to me. I was in shock for a few days.  My family were all very impressed.  Last night was the first clear night we’ve had since Christmas so we were able to take it out for a spin.  I’m going to have to practise aiming it at stars, but we did manage to focus on the moon.  Happy!

I’ve had an immense amount of fun spending time with my boyfriend, my family and my friends over Christmas and New Years Eve.  Nicki and I have been in contact again which made me realise just how much I missed him.  I’m very thankful to have him back in my life.

New Years Eve was not only a blue moon, but there was also a Partial Lunar Eclipse at approximately 10:30pm my time (whatever time that is.. haha).  To mark the occasion I was planning to head down to a beachside park called Moora Park; the place where my ex had asked me out under a full moon back in 2005.  I wanted to be there to watch the moon rise so I could pay my respects to the passing of the second decade of my life.  It may seem a little silly but it was to be my final way to let go of the past and move on with my life.  I mean, four years out of the last decade were spent with him.

Anyway, I decided all of this was way too depressing and instead I invited my friends to get dressed up with me and go together to Moora Park to have photos taken with the blue moon as it rose over the ocean, because it’s always magnified when it’s low on the horizon.  Unfortunately there were clouds on the horizon and we didn’t see it rise, but we did get a stack of really beautiful photos.  I shall upload them at some point.  We didn’t get to see the lunar eclipse due to cloudy skies but we still had a good night.

I’ve been feeling much more free since then.  For the first time in my life my year ended better than it started.  Hopefully from here on in it will be more common.  It seems happiness is rare for me, probably about as rare as a Partial Lunar Eclipse over a blue moon on the eve of the end of a decade.  Turns out these do occur.

Despite all this fun and freedom though I’ve been feeling very stressed.  Now that January is upon us the pressure is on for me to decide what to do this year and I have no idea where to start.  I was so certain I wanted to go back and do psychology but I had a ‘revelation’ (I guess you could call it?) and realised it’s not for me.  Or is it?? I love studying cognition, behaviour and biology but the statistics, research reports and journal articles were really killing me.  Being a clinical psychologist or even a counsellor would drain you emotionally every day.

I’m considering going into the IT department.  This is mainly because I love computers; building them, learning about them, teaching people about them, helping people fix them, etc.

This year I will go back to university, defer for another 6 months or cancel altogether.  Either way there is pressure; pressure to study, pressure to work.  Gavin is the only one telling me I have time to find my place in this world.  Honestly, I hope my place is with him.  I don’t know what I did to deserve a man like him, but I swear I must be the luckiest woman on this puny little planet.

I have plans!  I want to re-activate my gaming clan, Fraternity of Valour.   I want to go to Perth to meet the boys from my other clan, Pants Party, and see my Aunty.  I want to go to New Zealand to spend time with Emma.  I feel the urge to fight hard for a job, seeing as my search has still been unsuccessful.  I want people to remember me as someone who does what she needs to do.

I need motivation. Raaaaaar! </wookie>

<3 DarkSlinky.

I haven’t been doing anything interesting lately anyway.  When my ex left me my sleeping patterns went haywire and I didn’t do housework for weeks and weeks.  The place was nasty, but I’ve really put myself into gear this past week.  I’ve got my resume nearly ready to go, all of my chores are up to date (dishes, washing, vacuuming, etc.) and for the first time in a year or more I feel as though I’m really in control of my life.  I’ve found it really interesting to reflect on my own thoughts and behaviours over the last year.

Towards the end of last year to the beginning of this year, my ex’s parents were getting divorced and selling their house.   He had nowhere to go so he moved in with me, despite him and his mother not really wanting him to.  I wanted him to; I was excited that we would get to live together after so many years in a relationship.  However, the whole situation became awkward and a lot of tensions arose.

To be honest, I was really quite depressed.  I would cry for no particular reason and get sick often.  I felt as though life was simply too much to bear and I wanted to put it on hold and curl up in a ball by myself for a few months.  As a result, I became unmotivated and began to fall behind at university, which increased the pressure on me… etcetera.

I feel ashamed of doing badly at university this year, mostly because I know I could do better.  After reflecting on the whole situation I honestly think that it wasn’t my fault.  I went through a difficult time and obviously couldn’t cope.  I just wonder sometimes if I’m just trying to justify it, to make excuses.  I did reach out for help but it fell through.  I’m glad I was able to sort things out myself, though.  I’m really quite proud of myself.

I believe deferring my university course for six months was the right thing to do.  It’s given me the chance to really figure things out.  I think a lot of people think I’m irresponsible for not having a job but this is what I needed so that I could figure myself out and really get into gear.  Afterall, there’s no point being in gear if you don’t want to accelerate.

At the moment I’m quite stressed about a few personal things… my health mostly, and a few issues with friends.  I won’t go into details right now because it’s late and I have to be up early.

Gavin stayed with me for the weekend, from Friday to today.  It’s really nice to have a man around the house again; someone to deal with the bugs and give me kisses and cuddles while waiting for Borderlands to load.

Ah, yes, Borderlands was released last week.  Well, eventually anyway.  Firstly the release date was 3 days early and then they realised they had released the wrong version in Australia.  Typical. Blah, blah, blah.

I’m looking forward to the future, anyway.  Things like having a clean house, nice hair-cut, new games, new clothes, new boyfriend, new friends, a job and the motivation to do really well at university next year.  Yes, hopefully things continue along this path. =)

I just realised my ramblings don’t really make a whole lot of sense.  I’m really quite tired.  I hope the points I’m trying to convey aren’t too hard to figure out… not that there’s really any point.  I’m mostly trying to reflect on the past to benefit the future.  If that makes sense?

Yeah, I need to sleep. Haha.

<3 DarkSlinky.

Wednesday wasn’t exciting.  It took me about 3 hours to actually remember what I did, which turned out to be eating ice-cream and playing Left 4 Dead with Gavin, geek style.

Thursday I mostly did the housework.   In the evening I met Gavin and his friends at the shops.  It was so bizarre.   All of us saw our ex’s so we ended up sharing amusing stories about the past and plotting against them together.  It was hilarious and really made the whole experience a lot easier to deal with.  After shopping Gavin and I went back to his place to watch Watchmen.  I ended up falling asleep on his comfy, queen-sized bed so I just stayed the night.  Lucky he only lives a minute down the road.

It was really nice to wake up next to someone this morning.  I got up in a good mood and went down to Dad’s work for the day to clean my car and help him polish his FX Holden, which will be on display for a volunteers lunch tomorrow.  Gavin took me out for delicious fetuccini carbonara, so I got pizza for dinner tonight to nom on while we played games and watched the DaVinci Code.

Ahh Starcraft, romance, romance.

Gavin turned to me the other day and said, “You know, there’s just something about watching you slaughter aliens…” Oh how it made me laugh.

I’m motivated.  I’m going to get a job, buy my new computer case, buy new clothes, new shoes and get my hair cut.  I bought Killing Floor today.  I’m even sort of looking forward to going back to university and getting my degree over and done with.

I want to go to Paris!

Time for a cup of tea.

<3 DarkSlinky.