DarkSlinky

Posts Tagged ‘Parents’

I had another disturbingly vivid dream last night and I remember most of it quite clearly but I’ll probably write about that another time, I just wanted to do a quick update.

I’m feeling very sleepy at the moment, but it’s been about a week and a half since I left Gavin and I’ve just realised the numbness I’ve felt for the past few months has started to fade.

I’ve started to really enjoy every day, simply spending time with friends and getting up to mischief.  Despite my parents being quite negative towards me lately, I feel very hopeful about the future.  I know the next few weeks are going to be really memorable with the opening of the Mana Bar this Saturday.

I feel motivated to find a job and get my house organised again.  I don’t feel so motivated to look into university but I think that’s mainly because my parents are discouraging me to enrol in the course I’m interested in, which is a Bachelor of Education.  My sister decided to tell them teachers have the highest suicide rate of anyone and I think my parents have freaked out.  I think they’re underestimating me though.  Teaching is something I’m passionate about and my background in Psychology would definitely come in handy.

Dad:  “Do you really want to be a teacher? I reckon it’d be a horrible job, dealing with kids these days… :\”
Me:  “Someone has got to do it. ”

I expect some days I’ll still feel down and unmotivated, but I’m so happy to be ‘feeling’ again; everything from happiness, sadness, anger, pain, hope, motivation, jealousy, amusement… the list goes on and on and it’s all great. (I just thought I’d list the emotions I’ve felt recently, quite random..)

<3 to all my friends who stuck by me despite my whinging over the past few weeks… Haha.

Time to pick up again.

I’ve also been enjoying getting to know my Team Fortress 2 clan, Pants Party, better.  Alex and I met another Brisbane member a few weeks ago.  In the coming weeks I’ll hopefully get to meet the rest of the Brisbane Pants Party guys as well as the few members who are flying in to Brisbane from various places in April.  It’s going to be so epic! >:3

I’ve realised the music I listen to definitely reflects the way I’m feeling.  The past few months I’ve been listening to Slipknot, Evanescence and System of a Down quite obsessively, but now I’m obsessed with Pendulum.  Check it ouuut:  Pendulum – The other side.

Lovelovelovelove!

<3 DarkSlinky.

I’m really, really annoyed at the moment.

I woke up feeling motivated despite having nightmares about Liam’s mother coming over without notice like she used to.

I hate being nagged, I want my own space.

Every morning Dad comes in and says the exact same thing:

“Haven’t found our camera yet?
We’ll have to have a big clean up in here; pull everything out and go through everything.
Your mother wants to buy a new camera if we can’t find the old one!
I’m not buying a new camera until I’ve gone through everything in here.
Have you pulled out that cupboard yet?”

Then he’ll look around for a while and then go into my fridge.

“This looks yummy. I’ll have some of that.
What’s this? It doesn’t look any good any more. I’ll throw it out.
This too.
And these…
Do you have any milk?”

Then he’ll turn the fridge down really, really cold so his beer just freezes.

When Liam was here, I had my own space. Now it’s their space again, and I can’t say anything because they will just say “We do a lot for you.”

I know my Dad works hard, I know my parents provide for me, I know they do a lot for me, and I appreciate it, but does that give them the right to come in here whenever they want and go through everything, take what they want, throw out what they think I don’t need?

I’m not motivated anymore, anyway…

<3 DarkSlinky.