DarkSlinky

Posts Tagged ‘University’

Emma has been here for nearly a week now. She arrived last Tuesday and I’ve been busy all day every day since then.  I love every minute of it.  There’s no way I’m going to be able to tell you about everything I’ve been doing!

On Tuesday, Alex and I drove to the airport to surprise Emma when she came through the gate.  Unfortunately we miscalculated how long it would take to get there and we arrived two hours early.  Her flight was due to land at 8:05am and we arrived at about 6:20am.  Not something I’ll forget in a hurry.  I thoroughly enjoyed sitting in the airport and watching the people, playing games and drinking coffee.

Every day since then has been spent going out places, catching up with old friends and spending heaps of time together.

It has been so wonderful to have Emma home again.  We’ve been the closest of friends since grade 1 and over the years we developed a strange sense of humour together that no one else really understands.  We’re already using body language and having conversations that no one else understands.  We resolve each others confusing thought patterns, finish each others sentences and even say and do the exact same things at the exact same time sometimes.  Alex and Gavin have been lucky enough to witness this phenomenon.  This sort of bond doesn’t just develop overnight.  We’ve always shared a truly special friendship and every time she comes home I realise just how much I’ve missed her!

On Tuesday I had a few dramas with my eldest sister that really upset me but I guess I got over it.  Nothing was really resolved but that’s just how these things play out sometimes.

On Friday I saw Avatar with Gavin, Emma and Lynnette.  It was cliché and a bit corny but thoroughly enjoyable nonetheless.  I would recommend it!

At the moment I’m under quite a lot of pressure and there’s a lot on my mind.

I had decided a few months ago that I was going to go back to university and finish my psychology degree, but today I was watching a movie trailer and in it someone said, “If you had millions of dollars and didn’t have to work, what would you do?” and I thought, “I wouldn’t be working as a psychologist, that’s for sure.”  I’d probably work with cars or computers.  At the same time, everyone knows I love helping people.  I’ve told a few friends that I’m thinking about changing to an IT course next year and some have said, “But you’re so good at helping people!”  It’s flattering but I just don’t know what to do.  I have to think about what I want too, you know?  I want to help people but the research reports and statistics side of it is tripping me up, not to mention the fact that my university has made some really poor decisions regarding my psychology course…  I don’t know!!  It’s something I need to think long and hard about and my time is limited.

The other thing is that I may have my old job as an office administrator back starting first thing next year.  It would be really wonderful if I get it but I don’t want to get my hopes up at the same time.  I’ll probably find out tomorrow whether or not I get the job.

One option, if I do get the job, would be to defer university for a further 6 months to give me the chance to think more about what I want to do.   I need time to think and research but time is running out so fast.

Stress, stress!

All this stress definitely isn’t helping with my physical health.  Beware; the next few paragraphs will contain information regarding ‘ladies things’. While I firmly believe men should understand how these things work, I understand that some don’t want to hear anything about it. 

I skipped my last period and this month is either very late or has been skipped as well.  It could be due to a number of things; all of which are either nothing at all and will resolve themselves or can be quite serious.  I know what you’re thinking and no, I’m not pregnant.  Haha.  It could be anything from stress to Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS).  Here’s hoping it’s nothing serious.  I’m tossing up whether or not to go to the doctor this week or wait another month before I go.

It’s a vicious cycle.

Stress -> miss period -> stress about missed period -> miss period -> stress… etc.

To the gentlemen out there – being a girl really sucks sometimes. Please be nice to us!

Oh yes, I forgot, I’m a total dag.  Gavin’s Christmas present arrived this week and I just happened to walk out into my lounge room carrying his present (unwrapped) while he was sitting there looking at me like, “What are you DOING?”  I didn’t even realise what I had done for a few minutes.  Luckily I was able to think of something else to give him so he’ll still get a surprise on Christmas day. Shame! Haha.

I’m thinking it’s time for a shower and cup of tea.  I need to de-stress.

<3 DarkSlinky.

Last time I updated I was so out of it, haha.  I was over-tired.  I mentioned in my last blog that I had been upset on (correct me if I’m wrong) Wednesday night.  This requires a short-ish story.  If you’d rather just read about my awesome weekend, feel free to skip ahead. It’s not particularly interesting. 

A few years ago I was having a difficult time; I think I was about 14 years old.  I had an image as my desktop background that would make me feel better whenever I saw it (see below).  I knew it was from an anime, but I never knew which one.

Angel Sanctuary: All love lost.

I must have deleted the picture at some point and for years I could never find it again, until on Wednesday night.  I somehow came across it through Google and saved it again.  I even managed to learn which anime it came from; Angel Sanctuary.  It was kind of overwhelming to come across an image I had clung to during some of my darkest hours and the irony of it coming from an anime called “Angel Sanctuary” really struck a nerve with me.  So yeah, I was upset.

If I’m not making sense again, it’s because I’m tired.

Onward!

On Friday Gavin got a promotion which is really exciting for both of us.  The beginning of this year started out crap for me and got progressively worse.  Gavin suffered a break up through the year as well, so for us to have found happiness together as well as the promotion and me going back to university next year, the end of 2009 is really tying itself in a nice, neat, little bow for both of us.

Friday evening was really lovely.  I got all dressed up to go to a work Christmas party with Gavin.  The food was really good and I got to meet the people Gavin was working with before he got promoted, which he was proud to tell his work colleagues about through the night.

I think I’m falling for this guy, pretty sure he’s fallen for me. Squee!

I stayed at Gavin’s place Saturday night so we could get up early in the morning and spend some time with his grandparents and family before heading off to Tweed Heads.  I’m pretty sure his family likes me.

When we got to Tweed Heads Jeff was washing his car so I washed Gavin’s for him because I promised I would while we were in Bundaberg.  I’m the sort of girl who keeps her promises, something I’m quite proud of.

Saturday evening we went to watch the Roller Derby.  If you ever get the opportunity to watch it, go!  I would describe it as boxing in fishnets on roller skates.  I’m sure a lot of guys would be in to that!  I certainly was.  It was a lot of fun to watch, I thoroughly enjoyed it.  It’s definitely something I would watch on a regular basis and maybe even try out myself, just for the hell of it.

When we got back to Jeff’s after the Roller Derby we had a few drinks and then decided to go on a midnight run to McDonalds for ‘breakfast’.  Oh how I love having friends who are insane and spontaneous like I am!

So today, Sunday, Gavin and I wanted to go to the beach at Tweed because we didn’t have the opportunity to last time.  I took some photos of the same beach last time because I was so impressed with how beautifully clear and blue the water was.  It’s even better to swim in, even when it’s freezing cold.  I could have spent hours in there, although it’s probably lucky I didn’t because the water was freezing and I’ve had a throat infection for the past few days.  Lucky the breeze was warm or we would never have made it out of there alive, haha.

Jeff’s girlfriend, Amy, gave me a formal dress she bought years ago for cheap that has always been a little bit too small for her.  It’s black, silky and absolutely stunning; an elegant dress by all means.  I took some photos of me wearing it tonight, although I couldn’t get the back done up by myself and I could only take the photos in a dodgy little mirror in my kitchen/laundry.  You can sort of see what it looks like though.

I’m getting more tired.  Gavin left his work USB here so he’s going to come over and wake me up early in the morning.  It’ll be the first time I see him in his work uniform and I probably won’t even get out of bed.

I ate off cheese today. My stomach isn’t happy with me.

Check it out, I was just playing Minesweeper with my good friend Chris, also known as Darkr, and I fluked 6 shots (The ones circled in red).  How crazy is that?  I then won the match with one final fluke shot, which was where the red X is.

Fluke shots!

Sleeeeeeeeeep.

<3 DarkSlinky.

I realise I’ve been neglecting my blog a bit lately.  I guess it’s mostly due to the fact that I’ve been spending most days getting to know my wonderful new man.  The other reason is I’ve been thinking about my blog and what its’ purpose actually is.  I was re-reading my recent entries and I realised they’re more of a list of recent events, rather than an insight into my life, if you know what I mean.  Not that my life is particularly important or interesting, but I assume people would read my blog because it’s a window into someone else’s life, whether I’m someone you do or don’t know, someone you do or don’t like.

I haven’t been doing anything interesting lately anyway.  When my ex left me my sleeping patterns went haywire and I didn’t do housework for weeks and weeks.  The place was nasty, but I’ve really put myself into gear this past week.  I’ve got my resume nearly ready to go, all of my chores are up to date (dishes, washing, vacuuming, etc.) and for the first time in a year or more I feel as though I’m really in control of my life.  I’ve found it really interesting to reflect on my own thoughts and behaviours over the last year.

Towards the end of last year to the beginning of this year, my ex’s parents were getting divorced and selling their house.   He had nowhere to go so he moved in with me, despite him and his mother not really wanting him to.  I wanted him to; I was excited that we would get to live together after so many years in a relationship.  However, the whole situation became awkward and a lot of tensions arose.

To be honest, I was really quite depressed.  I would cry for no particular reason and get sick often.  I felt as though life was simply too much to bear and I wanted to put it on hold and curl up in a ball by myself for a few months.  As a result, I became unmotivated and began to fall behind at university, which increased the pressure on me… etcetera.

I feel ashamed of doing badly at university this year, mostly because I know I could do better.  After reflecting on the whole situation I honestly think that it wasn’t my fault.  I went through a difficult time and obviously couldn’t cope.  I just wonder sometimes if I’m just trying to justify it, to make excuses.  I did reach out for help but it fell through.  I’m glad I was able to sort things out myself, though.  I’m really quite proud of myself.

I believe deferring my university course for six months was the right thing to do.  It’s given me the chance to really figure things out.  I think a lot of people think I’m irresponsible for not having a job but this is what I needed so that I could figure myself out and really get into gear.  Afterall, there’s no point being in gear if you don’t want to accelerate.

At the moment I’m quite stressed about a few personal things… my health mostly, and a few issues with friends.  I won’t go into details right now because it’s late and I have to be up early.

Gavin stayed with me for the weekend, from Friday to today.  It’s really nice to have a man around the house again; someone to deal with the bugs and give me kisses and cuddles while waiting for Borderlands to load.

Ah, yes, Borderlands was released last week.  Well, eventually anyway.  Firstly the release date was 3 days early and then they realised they had released the wrong version in Australia.  Typical. Blah, blah, blah.

I’m looking forward to the future, anyway.  Things like having a clean house, nice hair-cut, new games, new clothes, new boyfriend, new friends, a job and the motivation to do really well at university next year.  Yes, hopefully things continue along this path. =)

I just realised my ramblings don’t really make a whole lot of sense.  I’m really quite tired.  I hope the points I’m trying to convey aren’t too hard to figure out… not that there’s really any point.  I’m mostly trying to reflect on the past to benefit the future.  If that makes sense?

Yeah, I need to sleep. Haha.

<3 DarkSlinky.