DarkSlinky

Posts Tagged ‘Work’

I learnt something today.

“What doesn’t kill us, defines us.”

It’s interesting, isn’t it?  I think it’s very true.  The way people react to anything, whether it’s something big or small, reveals what sort of person they really are.

I like to think I’m a good person.  I may be stubborn as hell, clumsy and a master of procrastination, but I’m pretty level-headed (when it comes to other people, anyway).  I’m not easily angered and I don’t hold grudges.  I’m overly emotional but, as someone pointed out, it’s not exactly a weakness.  The same person told me I’m inspirational, though what I would inspire in someone, I don’t know.

I had quite a few of my family and friends contact me after my last blog post asking me if I was okay.  I didn’t realise how many people actually read my blog, let alone how worried I had made them.  It definitely was a rough patch but it didn’t last long and I’m a tough cookie (…Mmmm.. cookie).  I’m much more emotionally stable now and hopefully things remain that way, but I’m prepared if I started to slide again.

I’ve realised over the past few days just how much people care about me, which has really helped me to pick up again.  In hindsight it was ridiculous of me to think I was so alone, but that’s just how it goes, I guess.  I will probably feel secluded again if I end up in the same situation.  Unfortunately it’s something I can’t control.

I can now think of at least 10 people off the top of my head who have told me they keep me in their thoughts or have gone out of their way to help me.  I haven’t even met most of them but I love them dearly and intend to meet them all one day.

I think I’m rambling.  I’ll probably read this tomorrow and facepalm.

I’m really tired after a whole 4 hours of work… hurr.

On a random note, I have a piece of bone trying to emerge from my gum.  It’s cut up, swollen and incredibly sore.  I also suspect I’m getting a cold.  Yeah, I’m pretty out of it.  Must be time to numb my mouth and go to bed.

<3 DarkSlinky.

The other day was incredible.  I was out and about, driving around, hardly paying attention to the road because the sky looked like it was ALIVE.  I may sound crazy, but it was one of those really nice sunshiney days AND there were random streaks of big, black clouds of death randomly sweeping across the sky in a wave-like fashion.  I was in absolute awe.

Yeah, I’ve been drinking rum, eating chips and playing Starcraft 2 all night (What a life!).  I’m in a pretty crazy mood right now.

Anyway, the point is, I started work today.  It seems okay.

Seriously, why do people ask how work was?  What am I supposed to say when they ask me?  It’s not fantastic, I mean, I could be at home playing games.  It’s not boring either; I’m always busy doing something.  It’s work, it’s worky, that’s all there is to it, right?

I’ve had exes who would whinge when I didn’t ask them how work was, and now that I’m working I realise it was all an attention-seeking façade (Does that even make sense? I wanted to use a fancy word).  I didn’t complain when they didn’t ask me how university was; if I had something to say about it, I’d say it! </rant> Mind you, I still ask friends how work is going.  They (the males in particular) seem to like the attention, and I am interested to know.

I think part of the reason I’m in a crazy mood is because I haven’t slept properly for about a week now, or even longer.  I can’t really remember.  It’s pretty less-than-average.  If I’m lucky I’ll fall asleep around 2am or 3am and wake up at 6am.  I wouldn’t usually mind so much, except now when I do sleep, I dream vivid, messed-up nightmares.  Even if I take something to help me sleep, which I rarely do, it just means my nightmares are going to last longer and probably be more traumatic.

I’m pretty sure my subconscious is trying to tell me something.  I would write about these nightmares except some of them are kind of personal.  I might. I don’t know.  I’ll see.  Some of them would make for an interesting read, if it was written well (in my opinion anyway).

Maybe that’s what I could do – take my nightmares as inspiration for BOOKS.  Could I really be a novelist?  I get distracted by the littlest things…

Speaking of inspiration, I’m interested in someone (While proofreading this, I realised how perfect my timing was. “Distraction.. OH SHINEY!”).  Over the past few months I’ve met many men, got asked on many dates, even went on a few, but I think I’m pretty set on this one guy.  He seems really random, affectionate, interesting, down-to-earth and out of this world at the same time, just like me!

I’m not giving away too many details yet.  I intend to get to know this guy and see if we’re compatible as a couple before I consider a relationship with him.  I won’t be making the same mistakes again.

Ah, so many lessons learnt over the past few years.

I feel I am becoming a woman.

<3 DarkSlinky.

Emma has been here for nearly a week now. She arrived last Tuesday and I’ve been busy all day every day since then.  I love every minute of it.  There’s no way I’m going to be able to tell you about everything I’ve been doing!

On Tuesday, Alex and I drove to the airport to surprise Emma when she came through the gate.  Unfortunately we miscalculated how long it would take to get there and we arrived two hours early.  Her flight was due to land at 8:05am and we arrived at about 6:20am.  Not something I’ll forget in a hurry.  I thoroughly enjoyed sitting in the airport and watching the people, playing games and drinking coffee.

Every day since then has been spent going out places, catching up with old friends and spending heaps of time together.

It has been so wonderful to have Emma home again.  We’ve been the closest of friends since grade 1 and over the years we developed a strange sense of humour together that no one else really understands.  We’re already using body language and having conversations that no one else understands.  We resolve each others confusing thought patterns, finish each others sentences and even say and do the exact same things at the exact same time sometimes.  Alex and Gavin have been lucky enough to witness this phenomenon.  This sort of bond doesn’t just develop overnight.  We’ve always shared a truly special friendship and every time she comes home I realise just how much I’ve missed her!

On Tuesday I had a few dramas with my eldest sister that really upset me but I guess I got over it.  Nothing was really resolved but that’s just how these things play out sometimes.

On Friday I saw Avatar with Gavin, Emma and Lynnette.  It was cliché and a bit corny but thoroughly enjoyable nonetheless.  I would recommend it!

At the moment I’m under quite a lot of pressure and there’s a lot on my mind.

I had decided a few months ago that I was going to go back to university and finish my psychology degree, but today I was watching a movie trailer and in it someone said, “If you had millions of dollars and didn’t have to work, what would you do?” and I thought, “I wouldn’t be working as a psychologist, that’s for sure.”  I’d probably work with cars or computers.  At the same time, everyone knows I love helping people.  I’ve told a few friends that I’m thinking about changing to an IT course next year and some have said, “But you’re so good at helping people!”  It’s flattering but I just don’t know what to do.  I have to think about what I want too, you know?  I want to help people but the research reports and statistics side of it is tripping me up, not to mention the fact that my university has made some really poor decisions regarding my psychology course…  I don’t know!!  It’s something I need to think long and hard about and my time is limited.

The other thing is that I may have my old job as an office administrator back starting first thing next year.  It would be really wonderful if I get it but I don’t want to get my hopes up at the same time.  I’ll probably find out tomorrow whether or not I get the job.

One option, if I do get the job, would be to defer university for a further 6 months to give me the chance to think more about what I want to do.   I need time to think and research but time is running out so fast.

Stress, stress!

All this stress definitely isn’t helping with my physical health.  Beware; the next few paragraphs will contain information regarding ‘ladies things’. While I firmly believe men should understand how these things work, I understand that some don’t want to hear anything about it. 

I skipped my last period and this month is either very late or has been skipped as well.  It could be due to a number of things; all of which are either nothing at all and will resolve themselves or can be quite serious.  I know what you’re thinking and no, I’m not pregnant.  Haha.  It could be anything from stress to Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS).  Here’s hoping it’s nothing serious.  I’m tossing up whether or not to go to the doctor this week or wait another month before I go.

It’s a vicious cycle.

Stress -> miss period -> stress about missed period -> miss period -> stress… etc.

To the gentlemen out there – being a girl really sucks sometimes. Please be nice to us!

Oh yes, I forgot, I’m a total dag.  Gavin’s Christmas present arrived this week and I just happened to walk out into my lounge room carrying his present (unwrapped) while he was sitting there looking at me like, “What are you DOING?”  I didn’t even realise what I had done for a few minutes.  Luckily I was able to think of something else to give him so he’ll still get a surprise on Christmas day. Shame! Haha.

I’m thinking it’s time for a shower and cup of tea.  I need to de-stress.

<3 DarkSlinky.